dissipate

lately i’ve been poisoning myself
in succinct doses of carbon and tar.

it’s best against a backdrop of a deep immovable night
with your back to the orange lights and the glowing parking lots.

the inhales go down rough and hot like the drag of dragon scales;
the exhales gust out ashen and silent.

i can’t yet feel the seed of death in my lungs

but i can feel my life in my throat
in my mouth
in the air

blue-grey twists and branches
floating then dissolving.