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Submitted on
April 22, 2013
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178
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18 (who?)
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tell me
the new thing

like sweet fruit and charcoal

like starlight and the skin between your fingers

tell me
the forbidden thing
that will unmake my being

then wash me up on your fresh shores
with the thing that is morning love
a virgin's speculations
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:iconis-lnds:
Is-lnds Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013
yes. this
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:iconindigo-mouse:
indigo-mouse Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
glad you like c:
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:iconnaida-vt:
naida-vt Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013
You write delightfully.
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:iconindigo-mouse:
indigo-mouse Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much. <3
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:iconlonerarts:
LonerArts Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2013  Student Writer
it truly describes everything a virgin feels want to be with the one they love.
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:iconindigo-mouse:
indigo-mouse Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you <3
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:iconlonerarts:
LonerArts Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2013  Student Writer
ur welcome :D
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:icongay-mountain:
Gay-Mountain Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013
So I feel like it's nearly redundant me commenting on your poems because I really enjoy pretty much everything you post. I really like the contrast of fruit and charcoal and I love the repetition in this. At first I was tempted to suggest you drop the final "thing" but re-reading it I think it really does work and helps to...tie everything up.
I'm still tempted to suggest is maybe dropping 'up' and possibly fresh from the penultimate line, but that might just be my shorter-than-short poems obsession kicking in.
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:icongay-mountain:
Gay-Mountain Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013
also...I think we have the same birthday. weird.
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:icontoxic-nebulae:
toxic-nebulae Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Student Writer
:heart: this is beautiful
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